4 Ways to Practice Gentleness with Yoga
Gentleness is sensitivity of disposition and kindness of behavior, founded on strength and prompted by love.
What is gentleness?
I think being gentle can easily be mistaken as passivity, timidity or weakness, but let’s look at gentleness another way. According to Baker's Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology, gentleness is sensitivity of disposition and kindness of behavior, founded on strength and prompted by love.
Gentleness is where strength and love meet one another. Embodying a gentle spirit allows one to be powerful and simultaneously compassionate. It is standing up for what is right without being forceful or aggressive, it is speaking honestly while remaining loving in speech, it is thoughtful and slowed down vs inconsiderate and rushed, it is humble and willing to listen vs stubborn and self-righteous, it is forgiveness rather than revenge.
Practicing Gentleness with Yoga
Sometimes we can forget our yoga practice is meant for more than just becoming more flexible and strong in our bodies. The next time you come to your yoga mat, have the intention of allowing strength and flexibility to take root in your heart and mind. Let’s look at some practical ways to do this.
Don’t shy away from difficulty in yoga
Do you have certain poses you loathe or think to yourself, “I just can’t do that?” Spend a few minutes a week in a space of difficulty on your yoga mat. Allow yourself to fail and be content with the trying. That is all that matters. Have compassion for yourself by remembering your practice does not need to be perfect. Yoga is not for perfection. It is for becoming more strong and flexible in body, mind and spirit. We may never have the perfect crow pose for example, but with each attempt our arms and core become a little stronger; our hip flexors just a tad more flexible. But more importantly, we begin to learn that we can try and even do hard things. The kinder we are to ourselves during the trying, the easier it becomes to step up and try regardless of the outcome. It also becomes easier to allow others the freedom of imperfection and then offer compassion.
When we aren’t expecting perfection, we have nothing to lose and everything to gain. We allow forgiveness to take hold and become rooted in our hearts and we can then more easily extend that forgiveness to others when they fail or disappoint us. Life, just like yoga, can and will be hard sometimes. Let’s not take either so seriously and practice forgiving ourselves when things don’t go the way we expect. I’ve found both yoga and life become just a bit more fun that way.
Slow down Your yoga practice
Do you ever find yourself rushing through life? I have a history of hurrying. And looking back on it, most of the time I was rushing for no legitimate reason. It is just a habit that took hold. I walked fast, I ate fast, I cleaned the house fast. Everything was fast, fast, fast. And looking back on it that speed came with a sense of aggressiveness. It wasn’t loving or gentle.
Use your yoga practice as a way to slow down. Through my own experience, the pace at which we live our lives is a result of muscle memory. When my go-to speed is quick, I begin to do everything unnecessarily quickly and I don’t get to savor the sweetness life as to offer. So, just like I trained myself to be quick, I can train myself to be in less of a hurry.
The next time you are on your mat, go through a round of sun salutations and slow it way down. Take the time to really notice how you are linking your breath to each movement, take the time in each pose to make any subtle adjustments you need so that you can enjoy it just a bit more. If this means using blocks or modifying poses, do it! Take the time to notice your thoughts in each pose. Are you being kind to yourself and your own limitations or are you berating yourself over them? Are you ruminating on an incident that happened earlier in the day? Are you holding tension anywhere? Notice it and bring yourself back to what is happening in your body as you move. Take the time to notice, make adjustments and savor each pose. Eventually, you’ll begin to slow down off your mat. Going at a gentler pace allows for more time to contemplate the present moment and be content with what is.
try a new style of yoga
Step out of your comfort zone the next time you practice. For example, if you tend to stick to powerful vinyasa flows, try a restorative or yin class. And vice versa. Maybe even try to learn the philosophy behind or benefits of that style of yoga. The more willing we are to try new things on our mat, the more willing we are to stay humble enough to know that there is more than one way to do things. We no longer live by “my way is the only (or best) way” type of thinking. We become willing to listen to and see another perspective. It doesn’t mean we have to wholeheartedly agree with or commit to the different perspective but it allows us to practice open-mindedness. And with open-mindedness comes more acceptance of ourselves and others.
Just like a rigid body leads to physical pain, a rigid mind and heart lead to emotional pain. A rigid, closed mind and heart builds a wall between ourselves and others. We don’t have to agree with everyone and everything we encounter, but openness and acceptance give us the humility to see life through another lens. The wall between ourselves and others begins to lower little by little and the openness and acceptance we extend to others will often be reciprocated.
Remember Meditation is part of Yoga
Don’t forget to meditate, listen to God, spend time in silence. Whatever you want to call it. For the longest time, I called it sitting and breathing. The word meditate felt too intimidating to me and so I avoided it. Remember, yoga isn’t only asana (yoga poses). Asana is meant to be practiced to prepare for sitting in meditation. Take at least a minute or two each day to be alone in the quiet and breathe. Just sit (or stand), close your eyes and watch the breath.
I have found that taking the time to be alone in silence and stillness with the breath allows me to slow down just enough to remember that no matter what is currently going on around me or inside me, eventually everything will be okay. I remember there is very little I have control over other than how I respond to what I am thinking and feeling and what is going on outside of me. What is going on outside of me is almost always out of my control but I can learn to control how I respond rather than impulsively reacting. This can seem scary at first. I had the mistaken fear that if I am not controlling what is going on around me, then all is out of control. I have learned this isn’t true and that fear has transformed into a sense of peace. And when I practice that peace regularly, it becomes a habit and I can extend it to others. My relationship with myself and with others becomes more harmonious.
with gentleness comes more love
Give these practices a try. Invite more gentleness into your spirit when you come to your yoga mat. Allow your yoga practice to be just as much about your heart as it is your body. With true gentleness comes more strength and love. A strength to stand up for your beliefs without the need to force your beliefs on others. You’ll slowly find that you can speak honestly while remaining loving in your choice of words. Over time you will find yourself slowing down and being more mindful instead of hurrying and rushing your way through life. You will find within yourself enough humility to accept others and external situations as is. You will have more forgiveness for yourself and others. Simply put, you will become more loving and invite more love into your life.
♡,
Kristen
