Clothe yourselves with love
…clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. and above all, love…
In the past, my mornings were frequently consumed by thoughts like, “What do I wear? Do I look good in this? Will other people like what I’m wearing? Do I look cute enough? Do I look professional enough? Do I even like what I’m wearing or am I trying to impress someone else?” My thoughts were frequently centered around what clothing I was wearing and how my body looked in those clothes. At times I would get so overwhelmed by these thoughts, I would think to myself, “I wish I just had a uniform I could wear everyday so I didn’t think about this.” Looking back on it, it was exhausting.
My husband and I moved from Alabama to Germany December 31, 2019. In preparation for that move, I got rid of a lot of clothes. I mean a lot of clothes. Things I had never worn, things I hung on to thinking, “Oh I will wear this again one day” or “I will fit into this again one day.” I literally hung onto thigs like that for years. I knew we would not have any closets living in our German apartment (You read that right. No closets. Not a single one. It’s not a thing here.) My clothes and my husbands’ would both have to fit into a large cabinet in the bedroom. One single cabinet. And I would have some space in our small basement room to store out of season clothing. So I whittled and whittled away at my wardrobe. I left the United States with significantly less clothing than I had to begin with. It felt good. Like a weight had been lifted.
Flash forward about three years and one pandemic later: I have only worn about a third of the clothing I brought here. Last September we moved from one very small German city to a smaller village. During that move, I became well aware of just how few of the clothes I owned that I was actually wearing. I began to realize that I still have too much that I do not need, want or enjoy. And why? All for that elusive, “someday I might wear this.” This didn’t feel good. We moved to an apartment that is bigger but still no closets (That’s a bit of a lie. We do have one small closet which stores cleaning supplies and tools) and this time, no basement storage area. I decided to whittle my wardrobe down again so that summer and winter clothing could all fit in my half of our clothing cabinet.
And just again last week (about 9 months post-move), I have whittled my wardrobe again. So now there is some breathing space in my tiny portion of our clothing cabinet. Not a lot but more than previously. This feels better. I feel less consumed by clothing, less guilt for not wearing things I owned and, I no longer feel overwhelmed by choice. Which was keeping me outfitted in sweatpants a large portion of the time. This also started to feel not good.
All of this has had me wondering: why did/do I allow so much of my time and energy to go into clothing? There is nothing wrong with wanting to look good and feel good and get dressed up. But being consumed by it—it didn’t feel good. And it took the fun out of clothing. One doesn’t need an unlimited wardrobe to feel and look their best. I can have a very small cabinet of things I enjoying wearing regularly and that I feel good in so that my energy can be spent on things that are really important like my relationships with loved ones, my mental and physical health, and concentrating on things that fill my spirit.
This brings me to my next point. Last year, I read the Bible cover to cover for the first time in my life. Previously, via Sunday School as a child, random Bible verses were drilled into my head. This alone time with my Bible was different. I understood better (only a little better—I have a long ways to go in understanding. I am no Bible scholar.). There are a few passages/verses that stuck with me over the last year. One of those being from Colossians chapter 3. Verses 12-14 state:
12Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. 13Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 14Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. 15And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful (New Living Translation).
Why is this not what I am thinking about as I get dressed in the morning? So often my thoughts first go to what I should or want to accomplish. What needs to get done? What can I do to feel worthy of love from others? And I am embarrassed to admit but even—What could so and so do to make me feel good or loved? Wouldn’t it be better to first think about how I want to feel and then act from and treat others from that feeling rather than doing something in order to try to conjure up a feeling or expecting something from someone in order to try and feel a certain way?
I long to be more forgiving, kind, humble, gentle and patient. Getting caught up in a to-do list or how to impress others makes me feel like I’ll never get it done and never get it right. This leads me to impatience, intolerance, frustration, pride and a host of other negative feelings. If I can shift my thoughts upon waking to thinking about how I want to feel vs. what I need to accomplish then I free myself up to make mistakes without berating myself over them. I allow space for others to make mistakes without getting frustrated with them. I allow room for patience and understanding and most of all love, mercy and gentleness with myself and others.
When feeling love, being love and doing in love become more important than my to-do list, I make it easier to live within a space of peace and harmony with myself and others. It opens me up to see beauty instead of how I failed or how others may be falling short. We all fall short. We all need the mercy and kindness of others. And it starts with me, waking up every morning and clothing myself in tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. And above all, love. Only then can I go forth in gratitude for what the day has to offer me and what I have to offer the day.
Join me here on YouTube for a simple morning stretch and meditation to start your day by setting the intention for how you wan to feel. And let me know below what you want to feel more of in your life.
♡,
Kristen
